its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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