Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
