so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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