Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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