I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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