office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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