You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
