I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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