Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
