i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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