Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
