I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
