ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I would fuck him just for his dog
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize