I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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