I met the friendliest cop last night
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
