You can't special order awesome
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize