got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
