Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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