She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
