what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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