it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
