Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple

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(513): View more from Ohio

Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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(386): View more from Florida

totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.

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(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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(212): View more from New York

There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My glasses were in the garbage this morning

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?

(1+44): View more from

I was hoping you could tell me..

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