you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
