His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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