Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
