Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
