i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
