'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I know her cup size but not her name....
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