Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i will never coherently bang her
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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