There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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