best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize