Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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