The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
