Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
