You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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