I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
