As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
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