I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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