if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
