you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
