there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
