remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
