Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
