There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
