Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
