my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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