When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
