Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
When are your genitals available?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
