drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
