I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
