That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
