you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
40s are totally the cure
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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