just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
operation harelip BJ is a go
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
