what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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