Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
