Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize