my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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