weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
