woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
