Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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