don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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