he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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