so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
