Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
