you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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