I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
you will always have a special place in my vag
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize