don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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