a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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